I want to expand on my zipper blog to include any activity at all. Want to know how many people in the world are sleeping right now? Eating? Farting? Having sex? Eating pie? Use this equation:

X = (Y / A) x Z

Where:

X = # of people experiencing [blank] right now

Y = estimate of how many minutes you’ve experienced [blank] in your life

Z = current population of the world

A = your age in minutes –> age(min) = age(yrs) x 365 x 24 x 60

The equation assumes you experience this activity as an average person on earth. Things that could give false conclusions include variances across age groups, cultures, sexes, etc. Instead of estimating your own experience, you could also just estimate the total number of minutes an average person will experience this in their lifetime, and use the average life expectancy rather than your current age. But it’s more fun pretending you are the average of the world.

So if you wanna know how many people are eating pie right now (who doesn’t?!), and you are an average pie eater, do this:

Estimate the total amount of pie-eating time you’ve had in your life so far – let’s say 300 minutes. You are 31 and your birthday was 3 months ago. You are 31.25 years old. 31.25 x 365 days per year x 24 hours per day x 60 minutes per hour = 16,425,000 minutes old. According to the internet, the current population is 7,360,654,200 people. So:

X = (Y / A) x Z

X = (300 / 18,921,600) x 7,360,654,200

X = 116,702

116,702 people are currently eating pie.

This is not pie, but I’m eating it right now, and it’s effing delicious. I don’t think I’ve ever had vegan ice cream that is comparable to dairy ice cream, let alone better. This one trumps. How many people are eating ice cream right now?

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